literature

Let's Just Exist [Genderfluid!Hanji] [1/3]

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WARNING: if you are sensitive concerning gender topics, don't read this story. if you complain about the gender content in my story, I will block you. this story is not 'correct' 100% so go away if you're a sensitive weener.

that being said, I am not here to hurt anyone, I am here to tackle a gender topic in a different light, which includes shamelessly going through the 'rude' things.

I am not here to make YOU satisfied with gender topics, I am here to SHARE my story concerning gender and a fictional character.



“Just tell the security guards your name, and they’ll let you through. My office is not on the top floor, but it is on the third from the top. You’ll find it, (Name). If anyone bothers you, tell them you’re with me.”

A young woman looks down at the plain black key card in her hand. In her other arm is a briefcase of papers, held to her chest. She doesn’t use the handle. She had gotten through security easily, but is now at a loss of what to do and where to go.

She knows she needs to find an elevator, but she hadn’t thought to ask about it when she was let in the building. She spent a few minutes wandering around the building, hoping to find an elevator around, but found no luck in her search. Now she just looks stupid, standing awkwardly in the middle of an unknown hallway, feeling flustered.

Scratch that, she feels downright anxious. First of all, she’s in an unknown building trying to find her friend’s office through his vague-ass directions. Second of all, she hasn’t found one soul besides the security guards in this place, and she can’t go to them because she lost her way.

“Damn you Erwin, for not telling me how to get to your office,” she mumbles to herself as she walks to one of the walls beside her, kneels down, drops her things to the ground, and rests her face in her hands. She takes a few deep breaths to calm herself down. “This isn’t time to freak out,” she says to herself quietly as she sits on her knees.

A few seconds pass and she suddenly hears a voice coming from an intersecting hallway. She turns her head to see no one, but she knows someone is approaching her. Before she can stand up, someone walks around the nearest hallway corner, about ten feet away, and walks towards her.

This man doesn’t notice her immediately. Only until he is a few feet away does he look at her.

She doesn’t say anything at first. There are a lot of things to take in of this person. Because first of all, there are bloodstains on his shirt and a bit on his face. Second of all, she can’t tell if this is a man or woman because his face is androgynous, and beautifully so. She’s never seen anyone like this before. His/her hair is long and dark, but pulled back in a high ponytail at the crown of the head. His/her eyes are dark to match the hair. His/her face is thinner, but set with a serious tone.

This man, or woman- no, person, looks at her with a blank facial expression at first, but then his/her expression changes slightly to one of awe.

“Hello,” he/she says, this androgynous individual.

It doesn’t bother her to talk to someone like this, but it sure is different.

“Hi,” she tells him/her.

This person approaches her and crouches down to meet her closer. “Are you here with someone?” This person asks calmly, giving her a kind expression.

“Erwin Smith,” she says, “I’m trying to find his office.”

“Ah, you must be the special lady,” this person says to her, closing his/her eyes for a few moments before opening them and looking at her.

“Special lady? No, I’m the lady who’s going to kick his ass,” she says as she picks up her things consisting of her wallet, her phone, her keys, Erwin’s files, Erwin’s key card.

“What did he do this time?” This person asks her.

“He didn’t tell me how to get to his office!” She says, raising her voice slightly. “He asked me to bring by some files that he forgot this morning, and I don’t know how to get to him! I’m going to kick his ass!”

This person smiles sweetly, and she immediately figures this person to be a woman. The smile is too pretty to be a man’s.

Okay, she is super nice and pretty! I was getting confused there for a moment. Her boobs don’t show though. Why wouldn’t she wear a push up bra? Or does she not care? Shit, I shouldn’t be thinking about this. She thinks to herself.

“Well, I can show you to his office,” this woman says to her. “Would you mind following me?”

“No,” she answers, “lead the way please.”

“Follow me then,” she says as she begins to walk down the hallways. The young woman follows after, thankful to have run into her.

She leads her to an elevator that they arrive to a few minutes later after turning around corners and going through intersecting hallways. She thinks that this woman will just show her the elevator and go on her way, but she enters the elevator first, waiting for her. The young woman walks into the enclosed space and watches as the other woman push one of the buttons for the floors.

“What is your name?” The woman with the blood smeared on her asks.

“(Name),”the younger one answers.

I know this is a lab where autopsies are performed, but does this woman need to just walk around with blood smeared on her? She thinks to herself when she looks down at the other woman’s shirt.

“(Name),” the other woman says, as she turns to her. There is a soft expression on her face as she speaks to her. The woman wipes the back of her hand against her forehead, messing up the bangs that heavily like there. “I know this is strange, but I believe you to be my soulmate. I won’t ask you to marry me or anything just yet, so how about we start off with something like coffee? Isn’t that what people who go on dates do?”

(Name) looks at this woman with a stunned expression. “What?” She forces herself to ask.

“One of my friends told me that I should start looking for a relationship, and another read my horoscope to me. I don’t believe those things,” she looks away as she continues passionately, “but maybe I can start. Anyway my horoscope told me I’d meet my fated one today, and here I am meeting you. I felt funny when I met you, in a good way. It could be the start to something. So how about it?” She looks to (Name). “Coffee?”

(Name) looks away from this woman and towards the highlighted numbers next to her. There are twelve floors to the building, and they’re only on the fourth. The need to go to the ninth. She holds Erwin’s briefcase to her chest and says quietly, “I’m not…sorry, but I’m not gay.”

Though…if this person keeps talking to me, I might just have to switch teams. I mean this woman is simply gorgeous.

“Gay?” The woman repeats.

“Sorry,” (Name) repeats.

The other woman replies, “What’s it matter about who’s gay or not? People are just people. We don’t deserve to be labeled because of who we are. For the record, I’m not a woman so I’m not gay either.”

(Name)’s face flares up. “Sorry, I wasn’t trying to offend you. I thought you were a woman.”

“No, but I don’t like to be called a man either.”

“You’re not?”

“No, but for you I could be either or both. I’d be your man if you’d want that.”

“You…” (Name) trails off for a moment and tightens Erwin’s briefcase in her arms. She looks to the highlighted buttons. They’re on the sixth floor with only a few more to go.

I’ve met lots of people, she thinks to herself, lots and lots of people. I’ve met so many people and had so many different experiences travelling around. But I’ve never been in this situation before. I’ve never dealt with a fluid gender, or…what is the name? Nonbinary? Yeah, I’ve never dealt with one of those. And here’s this one who’s talking about soulmates? But…it’s a joke, right?

“(Name)?” This person asks her.

“You’re joking, right? About me being your soulmate and everything. I don’t know anyone who jokes about things like that upon first meetings, but I can’t be too surprised considering I’ve met a lot of people in the world. But…you shouldn’t joke like that to people, dude…ma’am…whatever you are.”

Whatever I am?”

“I’m sorry, that slipped out. I meant, whoever you are. What ever title you prefer.”

Honestly, the ‘whatever you are’ part did slip out. She has manners, she swears. There are just times when she makes human mistakes.

The other becomes quiet for a moment and (Name) is thankful. She inhales and exhales through her mouth as the remaining time to reach the ninth floor is spent in silence. Finally, when the elevator doors open, (Name) is about to launch herself from the elevator when the other individual speaks.

“(Name),” they say quietly, causing her to stop in her tracks. She looks to the individual, and she is taken off guard to find they are looking straight ahead through the elevator doors. “I wasn’t joking.”

With that, her strange companion exits the elevator, and she follows after silently.

Not joking? This is a cartoon right? Or one of those Japanese romance things, right? (Name) thinks to herself as she follows her companion quietly and a few feet behind. She is led right to Erwin’s office, where they arrive only a few minutes later of walking in silence.

“Yo Erwin,” the nonbinary individual says, walking unannounced into Erwin’s office.

The tall handsome man doesn’t jump at the voice, but he does drop the book he reads on the desk before him.

(Name) walks past the nonbinary to look right at Erwin. The anger she felt earlier resurfaces.

“Hi, (Name),” Erwin says to her.

“Don’t ‘hi’ me,” she tells him as she approaches his desk and nearly throws his briefcase at him. “What were you thinking, telling me to come in here without telling me how to get to your office? Do you know how I felt trying to find this room? It’s not exactly the easiest walk in the park!”

“Don’t tell me you got anxious,” Erwin tells her as he sets the case on his desk. “You work on stages for a living. There’s no way a little office made you anxious.”

“I’m on break you asshole,” (Name) tells him as she sits down in one of the empty chairs of the office room.

“What work do you do, (Name)?” The third asks, causing her to scoff uncomfortably. She looks over to the individual to see a lit cigarette settled between coral lips. “Huh? Does this make you uncomfortable?” An index finger points to the lit stick.

“No,” she says.

“Hanji, I thought I told you no smoking in my office,” Erwin pipes up from his desk where he stands to his feet to walk around the room.

“Your name Is Hanji?” (Name) asks.

“Yeah,” Hanji says easily. “I thought I told you.”

“No, you told me I’m your soulmate.”

Erwin, who now stands by (Name)’s chair, rests his hand on his hip as he looks to Hanji. “Hanji…that’s not what you’re supposed to tell people upon first meeting.”

Hanji gives Erwin a genuinely surprised expression. “I thought that’s what Krista told me to say.”

“No, that’s not what she meant.”

“Huh,” Hanji says, appearing perplexed for a moment before going back to relaxing and puffing on the lit cigarette.

“I also thought I told you not to walk around in your work clothes,” Erwin says as he sits down in one of the other open seats, beside (name) and across from Hanji.

“Who cares? I’m just going to go back and do it again. It isn’t bothersome to anyone…is it, (Name)?”

“Why are you asking me?” She asks.

“I told you, you’re my soulmate.”

“Hanji…” Erwin starts.

“Look, I don’t believe in the whole soulmate thing, and even if I did, I doubt we’d be compatible,” (Name) says seriously.

“Are you saying that because you thought I’m a woman?”

“I’m saying that because I’ve not found anyone who can stand me,” (Name) tells the unusual individual.

“Same, I mean…look at me,” Hanji motions to the bloodstained shirt. “I don’t know of anyone besides you who’d just talk to me normally after I just completed an autopsy.”

“Hanji, you’re making (Name) uncomfortable,” Erwin says calmly.

“Yes, you are,” (Name) says as she stands to her feet, “I think it’s time I go home.”

“But (Name),” Hanji says with an outstretched hand just as Erwin says, “So soon?”

“Yes,” she says, “it’s my vacation time, and I don’t want to spend it in a lab.” She heads to the door, hoping to make a quick getaway. But Hanji has other plans, it seems. Just as (Name) reaches the door, she feels a sweaty hand slide into hers, pulling her back.

“Wait!” Hanji stops her. (E/c) eyes meet dark brown ones. “I get it, okay? You think I’m strange. But everyone thinks that, so it doesn’t bother me. Also, I agree. I’m strange! I get it! But I’m being serious in this pursuit of your attention I am going to begin soon. What do people do in this situation to capture another’s attention?”

(Name) looks at Hanji with disbelief.

“Erwin, what do people do?”

“Usually go on a date.”

“Yeah, a date! (Name), let’s go on a date!” Hanji looks at the girl with urgency. (Name) looks back at her. “Are you…so heartless as to not be able to look past the gender thing with me?”

This causes the girl to respond. “Heartless? I’m not mean! I’m just stunned! I mean, what the fuck kind of meeting is this?” She slides her hand from Hanji’s and says, “Fine, if you so badly want to go out with me, then let’s do it! But I’m going home now! Get my number from Erwin!”

With those words, (Name) exits the office, closing the door behind her. Her face is really hot, and she feels sweat perspire on her forehead. Wiping the back of her hand across her brow, she sighs and wonders what she had just done.
Originally this story was going to be a one shot, then it was gonna be a two shot, and here it is a three part segment 

if you think Hanji is acting differently than she would in the anime, you are correct. I'm showing a side to hanji that is like "how would she react if she were in present day AND wanted to pursue a relationship?" 

her currently personality will be explained in the upcoming chapters. y'all know I absolutely despise writing characters OOC. I will bend the story to write the character, not bend the character to write the story. so anyway, I hope you like this and can tell me what you think. just keep the warning in mind. 
© 2017 - 2024 earthpoem
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!!!!!! I know it’s been forever but please continue !!!!